no. 378

"Under the current ‘tyranny of slenderness’ women are forbidden to become large or massive; they must take up as little space as possible. The very contours of a woman’s body takes on as she matures - the fuller breasts and rounded hips - have become distateful. The body by which a woman feels herself judged and which by rigorous discipline she must try to assume is the body of early adolescence, slight and unformed, a body lacking flesh or substance, a body in whose very contours the image of immaturity has been inscribed. The requirement that a woman maintain a smooth and hairless skin carries further the theme of inexperience, for an infantilized face must accompany her infantilized body, a face that never ages or furrows its brow in thought. The face of the ideally feminine woman must never display the marks of character, wisdom, and experience that we so admire in men."

Sandra Lee Bartky, Foucault, Femininity, and the Modernization of Patriarchal Power


via

no. 375

What men mean when they talk about their “crazy” ex-girlfriend is often that she was someone who cried a lot, or texted too often, or had an eating disorder, or wanted too much/too little sex, or generally felt anything beyond the realm of emotionally undemanding agreement. That does not make these women crazy. That makes those women human beings, who have flaws, and emotional weak spots. However, deciding that any behavior that he does not like must be insane– well, that does make a man a jerk.

And when men do this on a regular basis, remember that, if you are a woman, you are not the exception. You are not so cool and fabulous and levelheaded that they will totally get where you are coming from when you show emotions other than “pleasant agreement.”

When men say “most women are crazy, but not you, you’re so cool” the subtext is not, “I love you, be the mother to my children.” The subtext is “do not step out of line, here.” If you get close enough to the men who say things like this, eventually, you will do something that they do not find pleasant. They will decide you are crazy, because this is something they have already decided about women in general.

Lady, You Really Aren’t “Crazy”


via

no.348

“Men grow up expecting to be the hero of their own story. Women grow up expecting to be the supporting actress in somebody else’s… I refuse to burn my energy adding extra magic and sparkle to other people’s lives to get them to love me. I’m busy casting spells for myself.”

Laurie Penny in her excellent article I was a Manic Pixie Dream Girl

no. 345

"Opinions are like orgasms, most girls aren’t taught that it is okay to have their own and are only expected to further men’s."

awfulbanter

no. 340

"Fuck that. Fuck that right now. I’m going to tell the generation of so called men something right this second. It’s an amazing mystery of the universe. It’s how to never get friendzoned.

This is how you do it.

You come to the terms that the friendzone doesn’t exist and that the most important thing in the universe is not your dick."

Wesley, as reporting how her dad got real defensive when some guy told him that she friendzoned them.

via

no. 338

“Women’s liberationists, white and black, will always be at odds with one another as long as our idea of liberation is based on having the power white men have. For that power denies unity, denies common connection, and is inherently divisive.”

bell hooks; Ain’t I A Woman: black women and feminism

via

no. 337

“Society has a problem with female nudity when it is not … ”—Badu pauses to get her words together; she wants this point to be very clear—“… when it is not packaged for the consumption of male entertainment. Then it becomes confusing.”

Erykah Badu: June/July Cover Story [Pg 1] | VIBE

via

no. 336

“If sexism is a gun, men hold it. And sometimes it recoils and hits them and that HURTS…but not as much as getting hit with the bullet.”

Laura

via

no. 333

"Women are presented too often not as consumers of the product, but part of the product – a sexy body sexily getting ready to surf, or a sexy body sexily wearing American Apparel. We’re used to seeing women look sexy and undressed in ads, while men in ads tend to just wear the clothes properly while also looking handsome in the face area."

Caitlin Welsh, Quoted in "Men Need Clothes; Women Need to Look Sexy" by Dr. Lisa Wade


via

no. 299

"If girls are asking to be raped because their clothes don't completely cover all of their bodies, then boys are asking to be kicked in the balls just because they don't wear cups everywhere."

iseeavoice

via

no. 283

"Yes, the Bechdel Test. It’s named for Alison Bechdel, who is a comic book creator. The test is, are there two named women in the film? Do they talk to each other? And is it about something other than a man? I actually think the Bechdel Test is a little advanced for us sometimes. I have one called the Sexy Lamp Test, which is, if you can remove a female character from your plot and replace her with a sexy lamp and your story still works, you’re a hack."

Comic book writer Kelly Sue DeConnick (Captain Marvel, Avengers Assemble)

via

no. 282

My mother had three pregnancies, and two children. She had a miscarriage, between my brother and I, in that four year span between our births, there was another pregnancy, another child desperately wanted, who didn’t live to term.
My mother had her pre-natal care, and her post-miscarriage care, at Planned Parenthood.
Because it was the best place for her. Because at the time, she had a two year old child and a bike and they were living just around that nice little sweet spot between ‘desperately poor’ and ‘almost have enough to consider a savings account.’ And when you are poor, and female, and need health services, Planned Parenthood is there.
And my mother walked past the protesters, walked past the people who screamed at her about not killing her baby, about how she was a whore, and she was going to hell. My mother, in mourning for a child that she had lost, blaming herself, hating herself for failing at this most feminine of things, walked through that, to care for herself, to get the medical care she needed. So that someday, two years later, she could have me.
I cannot speak to the courage that must have taken. But that path is walked by thousands of women. Every single day.
She donated to Planned Parenthood until her death. And she said to me, that the people who screamed at her saw her only as a vessel for a baby. They didn’t care about her, they didn’t care about her baby, either. They were pro-birth, not pro-life, because none of them would be there after her baby was born, to offer help and support and care.
The protesters didn’t care about her. And the medical professionals inside did. It is the right of every woman to have access to safe, affordable, quality health care, no matter where she comes from, what her income is, or what choices she makes with her life. And that is what these kind of bills are attempting to take away.

scifigrl47

via

no. 276

"17% of cardiac surgeons are women, 17% of tenured professors are women. It just goes on and on. And isn’t that strange that that’s also the percentage of women in crowd scenes in movies? What if we’re actually training people to see that ratio as normal so that when you’re an adult, you don’t notice?

…We just heard a fascinating and disturbing study where they looked at the ratio of men and women in groups. And they found that if there’s 17% women, the men in the group think it’s 50-50. And if there’s 33% women, the men perceive that as there being more women in the room than men."

Source: NPR: Hollywood Needs More Women

no. 263

"When Stuyvesant says that women’s dress and bodies are distraction in a learning environment, for example, what they’re really saying is that they’re distracting to male students. The default student we are concerned about - the student whose learning we want to ensure is protected - is male. Never mind how “distracting” it is to be pulled from class, humiliated, and made to change outfits - publicly degrading young women is small price to pay to make sure that a boy doesn’t have to suffer through the momentary distraction of glancing at a girl’s legs. When this dentist in Iowa can fire his assistant for turning him on - even though she’s done absolutely nothing wrong - the message again is that it’s men’s ability to work that’s important.

And when rape victims are blamed for the crime committed against them, the message is the same: This is something that happened to the perpetrator, who was driven to assault by a skirt, or a date, or the oh-so-sexy invitation of being passed out drunk. Women have infringed on their right to exist without being turned on. (Ta-Nehisi Coates describes this centering of male sexual vulnerability quite well.) Our very presence is a disruption of the male status quo."

Jessica Valenti, “Asking For It”

via

no. 220

What if all women were bigger and stronger than you? And thought they were smarter? What if women were the ones who started wars? What if too many of your friends had been raped by women wielding giant dildos and no K-Y Jelly? What if the state trooper who pulled you over on the New Jersey Turnpike was a woman and carried a gun? What if the ability to menstruate was the prerequisite for most high-paying jobs? What if your attractiveness to women depended on the size of your penis? What if every time women saw you they’d hoot and make jerking motions with their hands? What if women were always making jokes about how ugly penises are and how bad sperm tastes? What if you had to explain what’s wrong with your car to big sweaty women with greasy hands who stared at your crotch in a garage where you are surrounded by posters of naked men with hard-ons? What if men’s magazines featured cover photos of 14-year-old boys with socks tucked into the front of their jeans and articles like: “How to tell if your wife is unfaithful” or “What your doctor won’t tell you about your prostate” or “The truth about impotence”? What if the doctor who examined your prostate was a woman and called you “Honey”? What if you had to inhale your boss’ stale cigar breath as she insisted that sleeping with her was part of the job? What if you couldn’t get away because the company dress code required you wear shoes designed to keep you from running? And what if after all that women still wanted you to love them?

Carol Diehl, For the Men Who Still Don’t Get It

via

no. 207

"Women feel more guilt than men, not because of some weird chromosomal issue but because they have a history of being blamed for other people’s behavior. You get hit, you must have annoyed someone; you get raped, you must have excited someone; your kid is a junkie, you must have brought him up wrong."

Germaine Greer, Guilt Poisons Women

via

no. 196

"You don't owe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend/spouse/partner, not to your co-workers, especially not to random men on the street. You don’t owe it to your mother, you don’t owe it to your children, you don’t owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked 'female'."

Erin McKean, You Don’t Have to Be Pretty

via

no. 166

"I think the concept of virginity was created by men who thought their penises were so important it changes who a woman is."

Fly Away

via

no. 153

"This is a Facebook CLASSIC. It’s vague and subtle enough to sound good and be reposted 55 million times, but it’s such a nonsensical, insidious little piece of misogynistic bullshit. Let’s examine, shall we?

“If more females would sit down” - Passive. Quiet. Knowing one’s place. Not causing trouble. This is the standard that is laid out for “being a lady”. Big problem. HUGE.
“Be ladies” - Being a “lady” is different than being a woman. A woman is someone who identifies as a woman. A “lady” is someone who is prim, proper, and abides by the societal standards of behavior expected of female presenting persons, often to her own detriment. The etymology of the word lady is fascinating, although not how I’d like to exist in the world as a woman.
“More males would stand up” - Active. Outspoken. Standing up is a good thing, a heroic thing, something to be encouraged…but only if you’re a man, apparently. The double standard here is palpable; standing up is undesirable if you’re a woman, because you should be sitting and allowing men to stand up.
This ideal that is set forward is reminiscent of all the submissions I’ve seen in the past where people lament about the “good old days”. Oh, chivalry was everywhere! Oh, people DRESSED so much better! Oh, what’s that? You could be jailed for wearing pants as a woman, or lynched for being black? Well I’d rather just focus on how rad gender roles were then without getting into the messy stuff. Surely you understand.

(Of course, with this particular adaptation of the Facebook adage, you get the additional cissexism bonus of female being equated with ladies, and male being equated with gentlemen, with obviously no thought to the difference between sex and gender.)"

stfusexists, via